Not bringing me refills when the glass has clearly been empty all 20 times you walked by, no f_cking tip. Attitude when my steak bleeds like your mother after a marathon an*l session when I clearly asked for well done – no f_cking tip. Dropping food off and not asking if we need anything else – no f_cking tip.
I could cook out every day for the rest of my life leaving you to give blow jobs in the back of your uncle’s Buick, but I’ve chosen this day in particular to come shove my money into your pocket so you can play fetch with several items. If my money isn’t good enough for you to take requests for an hour, then you can go dig ditches for a living. GFY service industry.